What Do You Bring To The Table - Part 1
Oh the all important table.
Can you imagine yearning for genuine connection with another human being and a metaphorical table gets brought into the conversation.
Like, how silly of a thought is that?
I understand where it all comes from;
The value we have for our own life in connection to things we've settled for in the past;
Mixed with a little unhealed trauma and honest desire to get it right next time.
I get it - all too well - promise.
The problem I see now is the question is becoming almost combative.
The things we are bringing to the table are being weaponized.
It almost feels like people are saying; if the the things you bring aren't to my standards of table settling then you aren't a good table setter versus the things you bring are simply not right for my table.
Here it is tho - I will be the first to say:
No one should be allowed to enter your space if they are not adding value to you or your life somehow.
The peace you have alone should not be shaken by adding someone else into your world.
So with that thought, of course there should be some sort of conversation about what one has to offer.
But there lies something greater in that....
PAUSE FOR A SECOND
If you know me you know this is where I mention the importance of discussing wants, needs, expectations and desires with any one you wish to even THINK of stepping into a role in your life.
I believe that conversation shifts the dynamic from 'what someone can do for you' to 'have you taken the time or done the work to know what you actually require'.
Do you know the things you're willing to do or not do for another person?
Have you sat with your belief systems? Ifso, how much will they impact a partner?
Are you expecting someone to accept you fully 'as is' while simultaneously expecting them to meet a certain criteria and 'fix what's broken' before getting a chance with you?
I know we're in the time where we want everyone to come already put together (no holes, scratches or buffer marks) but everyone doesn't have everything you're looking for nor will everyone do everything you think you want.